Moving on with my life was not an easy task. The demons that I thought had gone away only subsided and created off springs. Now, I had to deal with the old and new ones. Not knowing how to heal caused my marriage and inner self to go downhill, NON-STOP. Between the two of us, there was drinking, drugs, infidelity, physical and verbal abuse. My inner self screamed for help so much that it showed on my outer appearance. I didn't know what to do or who to turn to. The inner battle became so severe that I couldn't control it. I had lost so much weight that I was asked if I had Aids. As much as I loved my new home, I only stayed there for twenty-six months. Through out the nineties, I had seen two therapist. I had to deal with a separation and a divorce. Fell in love with someone for six years who didn't love me. I ended up in relationships that didn't go anywhere. I almost had a nervous breakdown resulting from the reoccurrence of one disease and contracting another. Through it all, I still was functional at my job, worked a second job and went back to school for awhile. Overall, I tried to be a decent mother to my daughters. All my mishaps caused me to pray and talk to GOD more than ever. He surrounded me with people who were a POSITIVE influence and understood my hurts and doings. He also made me do something that I tried to avoid for so long and that was dealing with SELF. Dealing with myself was another painful situation in my life. But the outcome taught me how to FORGIVE myself for all my wrongdoings in order for GOD or anyone else to forgive me. It taught me to at least LIKE myself in order to be liked.............................
Moving on with my life was not an easy task. The demons that I thought had gone away only subsided and created off springs. Now, I had to deal with the old and new ones. Not knowing how to heal caused my marriage and inner self to go downhill, NON-STOP. Between the two of us, there was drinking, drugs, infidelity, physical and verbal abuse. My inner self screamed for help so much that it showed on my outer appearance. I didn't know what to do or who to turn to. The inner battle became so severe that I couldn't control it. I had lost so much weight that I was asked if I had Aids. As much as I loved my new home, I only stayed there for twenty-six months. Through out the nineties, I had seen two therapist. I had to deal with a separation and a divorce. Fell in love with someone for six years who didn't love me. I ended up in relationships that didn't go anywhere. I almost had a nervous breakdown resulting from the reoccurrence of one disease and contracting another. Through it all, I still was functional at my job, worked a second job and went back to school for awhile. Overall, I tried to be a decent mother to my daughters. All my mishaps caused me to pray and talk to GOD more than ever. He surrounded me with people who were a POSITIVE influence and understood my hurts and doings. He also made me do something that I tried to avoid for so long and that was dealing with SELF. Dealing with myself was another painful situation in my life. But the outcome taught me how to FORGIVE myself for all my wrongdoings in order for GOD or anyone else to forgive me. It taught me to at least LIKE myself in order to be liked.............................
