During my life, seldom did I accept things at face value, so I was always trying to understand why myself and others did the things we did. For the happy and enjoyable days of my life, that were few and far between. I didn't find the need to expand the search for what caused those events to transpire; on the days where I was challenged and found myself in over my head yet again, I dug deeper to help me find out why I acted poorly or why my choices were not the most popular ones in the history of the world. The early part of my life left quite a bit to be desired and along with a poor beginning came many poor choices that made me unpopular, but they did create excitement for the viewing audience.
Struggling to fit in and being misunderstood are kind of my thing, and those decisions that made others view me as hostile and sometimes unwanted were captured in a series of private thoughts that were both put to paper and others that needed no documentation because they ran on a constant loop through my cavernous mind and gave me a constant reminder of how unpopular one man can become with hardly any effort.
How complete my examination on my past is not for me to decide. I will leave that to the reader, but I can 100 percent guarantee that this information is factual and, at times, for me, more than a little heartbreaking. This is not an attempt for sympathy, that dream was crushed in my first few years of life, waiting for a kind word or a much-needed hug as a child were things I saw in movies but not in my home. I hope that I have made my vision of these times interesting enough so that you have enjoyed the experience of reading this book enough for it to be worthy of your time. Each of these ideas of mine are shared as quotes and explained in very plain terms, and on occasion, the pain of spending a lifetime of being judged harshly by those who have helped craft this person who has fallen from grace.