We left my hometown and the embrace of my mountain when I was just 11 years old. It was a tragic wrenching of a little girl away from all she knew and loved. My parents had been mostly distant or performative to that point, molding me more with their absence. It would not be better in a big city. The Wrenching, was unforgivable really. Two long days driving two vehicles, a car and a pickup truck, carrying remnants of our life to the southern destination, a new start. There were 3 of my siblings there and somehow that was supposed to make it okay. Never mind the siblings that remained in the north. Never mind the little town that had raised me and kept me safe. We did not know that just like having that one more baby, it would be far too late for this crew to be salvaged.
More than 4 decades went by before I could make the pilgrimage back. It was excruciating to get to a place where it was even possible. Most people cannot say that they have a specific day when the person they were disappeared and another took her place. On the outside, staying the same, so that no one even noticed. I have such a day, when my first life ended, I gathered the pieces and started building an entirely different person in her stead. This is the story of that first life of mine. Freeze framed in my mind for all those years. Magical, the secret place I could go to when reality got too tough. If it sounds idyllic, if it seems I am biased, I apologize, but in my reality, it truly was the best of all the Kingdoms. The town, as a whole, raised me to be the flawed person I am today. Stitched together with fairytales and tragedies, untouched or somehow oblivious to the darker undertones. As it should be for a little girl in her little town on the northern shore of the Greatest of Lakes. Welcome to my Musings of this Kingdom of Here, through my 10 year old eyes.
We left my hometown and the embrace of my mountain when I was just 11 years old. It was a tragic wrenching of a little girl away from all she knew and loved. My parents had been mostly distant or performative to that point, molding me more with their absence. It would not be better in a big city. The Wrenching, was unforgivable really. Two long days driving two vehicles, a car and a pickup truck, carrying remnants of our life to the southern destination, a new start. There were 3 of my siblings there and somehow that was supposed to make it okay. Never mind the siblings that remained in the north. Never mind the little town that had raised me and kept me safe. We did not know that just like having that one more baby, it would be far too late for this crew to be salvaged.
More than 4 decades went by before I could make the pilgrimage back. It was excruciating to get to a place where it was even possible. Most people cannot say that they have a specific day when the person they were disappeared and another took her place. On the outside, staying the same, so that no one even noticed. I have such a day, when my first life ended, I gathered the pieces and started building an entirely different person in her stead. This is the story of that first life of mine. Freeze framed in my mind for all those years. Magical, the secret place I could go to when reality got too tough. If it sounds idyllic, if it seems I am biased, I apologize, but in my reality, it truly was the best of all the Kingdoms. The town, as a whole, raised me to be the flawed person I am today. Stitched together with fairytales and tragedies, untouched or somehow oblivious to the darker undertones. As it should be for a little girl in her little town on the northern shore of the Greatest of Lakes. Welcome to my Musings of this Kingdom of Here, through my 10 year old eyes.
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