This is the story of my journey through schizo-affective-disorder and melancholic depression and about finding a path leading to healing and well-being.
It is about childhood sexual abuse, unhelpful teachings, depression, confusion and vulnerability.
Yet, it is also about love, hope, joy and faith and how I rediscovered the light at the end of the tunnel, walked to it and continued, both inward and outward. In turn, this led to finding my true self (the essential self, my centre) and ultimately, to a sense of God's presence and action.
My aim has been to understand and explain the processes of healing that I, with the help and support of many others, have undertaken and lived through.
To be able to free myself from the trap of mental illness, I needed to understand how abuse, put downs, fear and shame (as in this sense of not being "good" enough) have shaped my personality and the effects they still exerted on me as an adult.
This led me to reconfigure my thinking, no less.
In this book, I have tried to articulate how my healing unfolded. I believe the writing of it has helped me to turn some of the determinants of my life from negative to constructive and my state of being from despair to joy.
I am sharing this story in the hope that you (the reader) may find your light too!