"In You'll See, Suzanne Groves explores, without excuses, the challenging relationship she had with her father. Her recollections of the minute details and reactions to her interactions with him are vivid and evocative of the deep desire she had to gain his approval. An approval she never got, no matter how hard she tried." -Katharine O'Connor, Ph.D., LPC
My fifty-six years with my father were characterized by longing. If I could only meet his standards, ephemeral though they were, I would feel I belonged. That I was safe. That I was protected from external threats.
Learning that the threats came from within-that the threats were in the form of his personality disorder and addiction-came long after I had been damaged. Make no mistake-I never lacked for food, clothing, or shelter. We took family vacations. I received a wonderful education. I enjoyed numerous achievements, academically, professionally, and personally.
To an outsider, my life probably looked normal, even privileged.
The truth is the permanent scars resulting from narcissistic abuse are every bit as devastating and traumatic as those borne from physical and sexual abuse. Narcissistic abuse is insidious and challenging to survive. And the effects can outlive the abuser, almost in perpetuity. This is my story... possibly yours.