"Why Live?" is a story of vulnerability and transformation. In the face of depression and trauma, Faolan Sugarman-Lash learns to love his life despite his pain. In this book, he shares his mistakes, lessons, stories, and advice for how to overcome mental health challenges by experiencing each part of life fully and finding meaning. He offers the full spectrum of his life experience from relationships to travel and from trauma to spirituality. This book is a manifestation of Faolan's vision for a vulnerable, open, and courageous world. If you have ever wondered why you're here, this is the book for you. WHY LIVE?

INTRODUCTION

"Do you think trees wonder why they're alive?" - me

If you have ever wondered why you're alive or, like me, wanted to die, then this book is for you. This mission is for you. As long as there is one person who doesn't want to live, and when I say "live" I mean Thoreau-marrow-sucking-YARP living, then this book matters, this effort matters, we matter, because we are here to LIVE, not simply exist.

The dream: Each of us living as our true selves, wanting and experiencing every second of our lives, beauty, pain, mediocrity, and wonder included.

Truth be told, we're a long way from this utopia. I don't want to prattle off statistics to you about high suicide, depression, and addiction rates. I don't want to even accept that people do kill themselves, whether it be slowly, day-by-day, moment-to-moment slippage or all at once. I don't want to talk about any of this because it hurts. It hurts to feel the pain of knowing people don't want to live and to have known that pain myself. It hurts to write about the pain and to stand up for healing it...

But it is necessary work for me because in my pain lies my purpose. We are all intimate with the existential pain of being alive and thus we all have a source to draw from. Deep inside our pain, we hold unique truths that only we can offer the world. We have our own stories to share using our own art forms, and maybe that's what it means to be human.

Hundreds of people have shared their life stories with me, and I have never been bored. Each of us carries a whole human soul ripe with spectrums of emotions, thoughts, goals, expectations, and traumas. Because we're autonomous beings, we all face the same question: "Why Live?"

This question comes in two forms. When I'm experiencing depression, it haunts me. When I'm fully present to life with joy and gratitude, it piques my curiosity and becomes a beacon on the horizon. In my story you will see how this question transforms from darkness into light.

This book is a tale of suffering and trauma, of failure and mistakes, and of healing, love, and hope. This book is my answer to the question that has brought me tears of pain and tears of joy.

In my story, I hope that you may see your own. As I was lost, so you may be. As I found my answer, you will assuredly find yours. Do not lose hope.

May you find your answer mirrored in the pages of my story and may you live as only you can, as you.

Let curiosity guide you to ever-present light.

Welcome, and enjoy.

This is: Why Live?