‘MY LIFE WITH A SUICIDAL HUSBAND’

A reader reveals the heartbreaking impact her husband’s mental health issues have had and asks: is living with a partner in deep depression harder than losing them altogether?

Facebook’s chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg would have you believe that the beginning of recovery is finding the bottom. Hit it, and you can somehow gather the strength and determination to push off and begin to come back up. But once the threat of suicide fogs the air of your marriage, once your husband is making almost daily attempts to end his life, each attempt unlocks new lows. The slam of the front door and him leaving the house, often not even fully clothed, signalling the beginning of a long, lonely night ahead. Bewildered and shaking as my body reacts physically to the shock and fear, I’d pull a blanket around myself and wait it out by the front door for him to walk back in, or for the police…

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Red UK (Digital) - 1 Issue, July 2018

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