This book by Dr Jenny Brown is a companion to the various Parent Hope Project programs that all help improve children's mental health via parents adjusting their interactions. Our programs are based on research showing that:
- when a parent can redirect their energy from trying to change or fix their child,
- to focus on how they manage themselves with their child,
- they recover agency and confidence, contributing to their child's well-being.
This can be a challenging shift for conscientious and concerned parents. It's natural to want to do whatever it takes to protect your child from emotional problems or to want to fix and change a child who is growing up in a complex, pressured environment and struggling to manage life. A repeated idea that you will encounter in our programs is that when parents shift from trying to change their child and instead invest in what is in their control as parents, new hopeful pathways open up. Changing another is outside anyone's control, whereas changing oneself is always achievable.
The hopeful message is that parenting is not about following a set of techniques but finding ways to reduce intensity levels in the family so that vulnerable children have more breathing space to develop their capacities. This is in line with substantial research that indicates that parents' over-involvement, either correcting or protecting, is a factor in children's development of symptoms. The principles for parents in this book are relevant for any stage of child-rearing, from toddlers to young adults. While children are in varied stages of development, the value of a parent focusing on reducing their reactivity applies to all stages of family life. There are plenty of parenting techniques out there. This approach invites you to reflect on your principles and check that your strategies align with your goals and are constructive in helping your child develop in character and maturity.
We trust that you will find the journey ahead rewarding as you reflect on ways to adjust what's in your control to enhance the relationship environment from which children's resilience grows.