Stan is the man. A man with a van. And in that van he collects the objects of his desire - children from the local playground, conveniently left unattended. Now he has his eye on little Kaysen, a sassy young thing he spies from the bushes. And he has a whole pharmacy full of "candy" to close the deal. But Kaysen is smart and cautious - does he take the bait? Hint: Yes! And off they go on their playdate, as Stan tries to win Kaysen over with tempting pharmaceutical treats. And of course he needs Kaysen's help finding his lost cat, which may or may not exist. Meanwhile, the local pool cleaning guy is making the rounds with the single mothers in town.
But it turns out that Stan isn't quite who we expect, and that his activities may even have a higher purpose. And he may even have...daddy issues? Since the van has no windows, we won't find out exactly what goes on inside, but we'll learn a valuable lesson about talking to strangers for fun and profit. And of course, don't believe everyone who claims to be a doctor.
The product of a clearly twisted sense of humor - if you can imagine Dr. Seuss meets Robot Chicken meets South Park - this book skewers political correctness, trendy children's names, community colleges, luxury apartment complexes, and frustrated hipster parents who can't quite "perform" like they used to. Astute readers will enjoy the many references to popular culture, including children's and adult literature. More cerebral and sophisticated than a typical parody book, the writing consists of childlike verse punctuated by snarky cutaway-style footnotes which provide commentary and backstory. There are also subtle but revealing connections between parts of the book, as well as a rather unexpected ending which ties it all together.