The Locust People
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The Locust People

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Paperback
$12.99

"Time is a river, and someone somewhere is pissing in it." Dive into the wild, weird, and wonderful world of bizarre events blogger Whitman as he discovers a dormant group of beings set on curing the world from harm.

Whitman's "Holy Gale" blog chronicles the peculiar, the eccentric, and the unconventional - but even he wasn't expected to run into a group of Shaquille O'Neal-sized Locust People rising after millennia from their subterranean nests.

Whitman is a struggling writer who resides on Mullet Top, a knoll overlooking T-town and the center of hydraulic fracturing for Marcellus shale. There, the millions of gallons of chemical-laced water pumped into the hills stir the Locust People, causing the giant winged species to inflict mayhem, death, and destruction upon the fracking operations and T-town.

Suddenly Whitman finds himself and his latest soulmate, Haggie, within a reality not unlike the truth-cheated scenarios in his "Holy Gale" blog. Their new age journey begins at a Big Foot forgery with his ass prints in the snow; wanders to Smiley Face Stonehenge, a moonlit pizza projectile assault upon a giant Dean Martin mural; and continues through a pilgrimage to the shrine of Duct Tape Jesus, a metaphysical arrangement of Andy Warhol's Campbell's Soup cans. Along the way, they encounter yoga contests, a graffiti war between evangelists and Satanists, a table- top game of football using live locusts, and an induction into the Alien Anal Probe Hall of Fame.

The Locust People is an enjoyable, well-plotted novel for adults and any environmentally-conscious reader. Its cast of colorful characters drives the narrative, which has more twists and turns than the Kama Sutra and ultimately reveals everything in the universe is concertedly connected.

Paperback
$12.99
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