- You Get the Italian Flag Inked on Your Culo (Hint: You Can't Show Your Mama)
- You've Created Your Own Nickname--and Tried to Copyright It
- You Spend a Half an Hour Perfecting Your Blow-Out and Another Half Hour Admiring It in the Mirror
- You Describe Your Dream Guy as a Juicehead
- Your "Nice Clothes" Are Animal Print
Complete with guido quizzes (What's Your Guido Nickname?), fun facts, and trivia (Italian Slang 101), this book is the ultimate goobmah's guide to Italian pride.