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53 Articles

Honoring Breonna

There was a sparkle in Breonna’s eyes—a young Black woman posing in her Louisville EMS shirt, happy to be alive.—ALEXIS FRANKLIN THE DEATHS of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile in 2016 hit me hard. I remember lying in my bed, tears streaming down my face, and just being…tired. Though I’m not proud of it, I began to guard myself. I quit paying such close attention to the news and the deaths. It hurt too much. But when Breonna Taylor was killed, I couldn’t even try to shut it out. I was uncontrollably angry and hurt. This time there was no shoving it down. Working as a digital portrait artist, I reimagine an existing image and can quickly switch moods or colors. The original photo is one Breonna took herself and has been…

Honoring Breonna

Yasmin Fahr, CHEF FAST OR FANCY, PAGE 104 When I need a mental escape, I…take a walk in nature. That can be difficult in New York City, but strolling along the river always clears my mind. An event that changed my worldview was… traveling alone. It helped me see outside my bubble. My life improved when I stopped…being mean to myself. I tend to be self-critical, so replacing that negative internal conversation with a positive one (it’s a work in progress) has made a huge difference. Imani Perry PROFESSOR “WHAT WE CARRY,” PAGE 76 In difficult times, I can depend on…my large, loving family. My grandmother’s street number was 2345, so I always think, I can count on anyone who came from 2345. An event that changed my worldview was…when Richard Arrington Jr. became the…

How are you supporting the Black Lives Matter movement?

I run Raheem, an independent online service for reporting police in the U.S. I founded it after losing my life partner to police violence during a routine traffic stop. His love was radical, unapologetic, and life-changing.BRANDON D. ANDERSON OaklandI’m a member of Black Nurses United, and we’ve developed a call to action called “Not on My Watch.” We will no longer allow subtle injustices to occur in our presence. We’re holding rallies, marching, educating our community, and registering voters. As frontline workers of color, we see the effects of institutionalized racism. Healthcare education is a tool we can use to empower the most overlooked, underserved, and marginalized communities of color.SHERRETHA WADE DallasLeading a neighborhood social equality task force through a nonprofit, bringing together people of all backgrounds living in downtown…

How are you supporting the Black Lives Matter movement?

These 89 names represent a portion of an important list kept by the African American Policy Forum’s #SayHerName campaign. Since 2015, the group has been collecting the stories—from local papers and Facebook posts, and by word of mouth—of Black women, trans women, and girls who have died at the hands of police or while in custody. MAY THEY REST IN PEACE. I have a collection of property ledgers from former plantations. Names, ages, and prices of people, listed along with cattle, shoes, wagons, and all other earthly possessions. The ledgers are framed in my library. When in need of fortification in times of crisis or challenge, and sometimes just to remind myself where I’ve come from, I read them aloud. I feel a kinship. As a great-great-granddaughter of enslaved people, I know that…

To celebrate 20 years of O, each month we’re spotlighting a remarkable person who is changing the way we look at our world. IN 2016, after Colin Kaepernick—then quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers—knelt during the pregame national anthem to protest police brutality against people of color, the first high-profile white athlete to join him wasn’t a teammate. It was soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who, less than a week after Kaepernick took the knee, followed his lead. “In the past I’d asked people to be an ally for me, and I thought, This is the least I can do,” says Rapinoe. “Four years later, I’m hopeful that this current moment in history could finally be a wake-up call for white America.” Though Rapinoe has received numerous athletic honors, including the World Cup’s…

1. What’s your no-fail go-for-it motivational song? “Hussle and Motivate” by Nipsey Hussle. 2. What is the physical challenge that scares you most? Staying fit and healthy as I get older. 3. If you could send a note to yourself in 2030, what would it say? You got through 2020, so you can handle anything! Also, enjoy it all—life, work, family. Take a step back and enjoy them. 4. Who’s the one person who changed your life? Two, actually: my mom and dad. 5. What makes you cry? Many things! I don’t keep tears pent up. 6. What gives you hope? The will and spirit of other human beings. Despite so many obstacles, people are kind, innovative, fierce, creative, and up for a good fight. 7. What’s the best mistake you ever made? Lord knows I’ve made many, but to be honest, I…

5 The High Five

We Get a Kick Out of You After earning his black belt two years ago, Ohioan Jeffrey Hall, 15, wanted to spread the karate gospel to an overlooked community: nursing home residents. (“They don’t get enough attention,” he says.) Hall was teaching a regular crew of seniors when Covid-19 came to town. So he moved his dojo online; the free low-impact video lessons keep him connected to his students and keep them “feeling active and confident,” he says. Learn some moves at youtube.com/goldenagekarate. The Whole Picture You’ve seen movie masterpieces made by Black filmmakers—hello, 13th, Do the Right Thing, Get Out. Now see some lesser-known gems. The Criterion Channel’s streamable Pioneers of African American Cinema collection features obscure but groundbreaking “race films” made between the 1920s and 1940s. Created by Black artists for…

5 The High Five

GROWING UP in Mexico City, Gabriel Dawe spent countless afternoons at artisan markets, poking around stalls packed with hand-embroidered, color-saturated tablecloths, tapestries, and clothing. Captivated by the vibrancy of the work, Dawe longed to learn the craft himself. But his wishes were thwarted by his grandmother’s belief that women cooked and sewed; men labored outside the home. “She never said, ‘You can’t embroider,’” notes Dawe, now 46. “I just knew enough to know I couldn’t even ask.” Dawe spent six years as a graphic designer, churning out commercial logos and posters. But when he hit a rut in his late 20s, he returned to his childhood passion. He enrolled in an MFA program at the University of Texas in Dallas and took part in a residency that explored the architectural possibilities…

BOOKS. I recently read Glennon Doyle’s Love Warrior, and it knocked me out. I picked it up after seeing an interview with her in the New York Times. There are so many resonances between our lives: being a person who’d only ever been with men, raising children with a man, and then falling in love with a woman. And the woman she fell in love with was Abby Wambach! My wife’s a soccer fanatic, so I bought Glennon’s book for me and Abby’s book for her. MY GRANDMOTHER’S 19TH-CENTURY PIE CABINET. It’s filled with china I inherited, as well as other items I’ve collected. It steeps me in family history; it’s also full of stuff I use on a weekly, if not daily, basis. So much of our life revolves around…

Change Your World

IF YOU’VE EVER DRIVEN through the South, there’s a chance you’ve passed a former slave house. It might have looked like a weathered barn, or a tidy brick home, or just a shadowy depression in a field. Jobie Hill knows how to seek and find these immeasurably valuable spaces, whether they’ve been cared for or reduced to ruins. “I get excited each time I see one,” says Hill, a preservation architect from Iowa. “They’re evidence of survival.” Hill, who settled on her career by age 10, has never been taken with skyscrapers or stadiums. “I’m drawn to dilapidated buildings,” she says. “They’re the ones with stories to tell.” In 2010, already a licensed architect, Hill began a master’s program in historic preservation. During an internship at the Historic American Building Survey,…

Change Your World

ON HOW THEY MET: I found Joni at a rescue in San Diego in 2007. As soon as I bent down in the yard, she came over and put her blonde head on my knee. Then there was Jackson; he was a puppy from a rescue here in L.A. We brought him home and he gave us ringworm—a great welcome! Next came Fig. He was at an adoption fair at a pet store. I walked in to get supplies and walked out with Fig and his sister, Madeline, who has since died. We rescued Olivia nearly two years ago because Fig was lonely. Now Olivia is Fig’s cat. Peanut was the last addition. I saw a video of her meowing the tiniest meow and said to my husband, “We need…

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO Gayle

ORDER If you think one of the best things about traveling is trying great restaurants (that’s me)—and if Covid-19 means you’re not going as far as you’d like (also me)—meet Goldbelly. The online shop sells iconic foods from around the country, including deep-dish pizza from Lou Malnati’s in Chicago, banana pudding from Magnolia Bakery in New York City, and, as I recently discovered, the ginormous Crab Bombs from Jerry’s Seafood in Bowie, Maryland. They’re made with all jumbo lump crabmeat, a touch of Old Bay, and absolutely no filler. As corny as it sounds, these crab bombs really are da bomb! CHEER Every year I look forward to attending the U.S. Open. But when the tennis tournament begins August 31, the stands will be empty to help prevent the spread of coronavirus. Still,…

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO Gayle

The Un-Cola Your Mountain Dew just became a Mountain Don’t, thanks to these spectacular new sodas in flavors like toasted coconut and orange-nectarine. Each 30-calorie, organically sweetened drink is free of artificial ingredients and comes in a beautifully designed can that turns the variety 12-pack into pop art! (United Sodas of America variety pack, originally $35, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; unitedsodas.com) Dairy Clean What do Ellen DeGeneres and two out of three Jonas Brothers have in common? They dine at L.A. hot spot Craig’s, where requests for healthy desserts led to a vegan ice cream indistinguishable from the real deal—which led to pints flying out the door, which led to a mail-order treat for you! (Party pack of 24 minis, originally $79, now 20 percent off with code OPRAH; craigsvegan.com) Reel…

Great BUYS UNDER $100!

Show off your stripes in a curve-clinging dress with a sporty feel. rainbowshops.com The color and hardware make this chic carryall classic; the drawstring closure and top handle make it unique. Originally $100, now $80 with code OPRAH; meliebianco.com A laid-back slip-on gets some collegiate cool with plaid and a platform. seavees.com The stormy-night motif modernizes this signet ring. celestestarre.com A rugby shirt pairs well with everything from pleated skirts to jeans to joggers. landsend.com A boyfriend cardigan is an easygoing topper for button-downs or dresses. 525; 525america.com Smarten things up with a traditional timepiece that has a minimalist face and a bracelet band. Anne Klein; belk.com Not your average tube socks: These are made of sparkly Lurex fabric. elizabeth-reid.com Navy knit pants feel fresher than black yet still go with everything. Liverpool; liverpooljeans.com The schoolgirl skirt graduates to…

Great BUYS UNDER $100!

ADAM'S Style SHEET

1 Back to Business Impromptu Zoom meeting? No problem. Throw on a knit or drapey jacket for an instant professional look. Knit blazer, $179; talbots.com (sizes XS to 3X). Faux-suede jacket, $169; jjill.com (sizes XS to 4X) 2 Screen Savers Be kind to your eyes with cool-looking aviators (also available as readers) that block blue light from phones and computers, which can cause eyestrain and headaches. Gabriel + Simone, $40; gabrielsimone.com 3 Soft Touch Feel pulled together (in the house or out) with cheery slides that have a walking-on-clouds quality, thanks to satin-covered layers of foam cushioning plus arch and heel support. $120; birdies.com 4 The Handoff Stay stylish and safe when you’re on the go with lightweight, touchscreen-friendly errand gloves that can be washed and worn again. Echo, $35 per pair; echonewyork.com 5 Set Points In the perfect…

ADAM'S Style SHEET

1. BEST CONCEALER Hourglass Cosmetics Vanish Airbrush Concealer Like an invisibility cloak for blemishes and dark undereye circles, the 22 shades of this highly pigmented, creaseless formula contain tiny spheres of powder that blur any imperfection. ($34 each; sephora.com) 2. BEST MASCARA Charlotte Tilbury Pillow Talk Push-Up Lashes in Super Black Its magic wand is two-sided: Use the flat one to apply a customized amount of mascara, then flip to the bristled edge to distribute the product and lift lashes to new heights. ($29; charlottetilbury.com) 3. BEST PRIMER Tatcha The Liquid Silk Canvas Infused with Japanese antiagers like green tea and algae, this creates a smooth foundation for, well, your foundation. ($52; tatcha.com) 4. BEST BLUSH Kjaer Weis Flush & Glow Duo Count on this gleam team for instant radiance and a healthy flush. Each of the four color combos is…

1. BEST GENTLE CLEANSER Pause Well-Aging Hydrating Cleanser Specially formulated for mature skin, which tends to be drier and more fragile, this tube is full of soothing, moisturizing plant extracts like lotus flower for soft-touch grime fighting. ($32; pausewellaging.com) 2. BEST OILY SKIN WASH Neutrogena Skin Balancing Clay Cleanser This clay-based wash works hard for the money, absorbing excess oil, mildly exfoliating, and mattifying without leaving your skin feeling stripped. ($11; drugstores) 3. BEST MOISTURIZER StriVectin Re-Quench Water Cream Dry skin got you down? Flood your face with plumping hyaluronic acid and nourishing electrolytes derived from zinc and copper for a truly transformative experience. ($59; strivectin.com) 4. BEST MULTI-USE BALM Live Tinted Unity Balm Gloss Here are just a few ways to use this wonder product: Wear it on your lips as a nourishing overnight mask, apply it to ragged cuticles,…

1. BEST SHAMPOO Aveeno Hair Cotton Blend Shampoo Gentle yet effective, this sulfate-free lather washes away dirt, oil, and product buildup while nourishing your scalp and strands with vitamin E and colloidal oatmeal. ($9; drugstores) 2. BEST CONDITIONER The Mane Choice A-Maz-Zon Hair Day Super Smooth & Extreme Gleam Gleaming Glow Conditioner Hydrating flower extracts and castor oil help soften and protect even the driest of locks. ($15; amazon.com) 3. BEST LEAVE-IN Dove Amplified Textures Moisture Lock Leave-In Conditioner Definition—check. Shine—check. And this jojoba oil–spiked cream also keeps thirsty curls moisturized all day. How’s that for a triple threat? ($7; drugstores) 4. BEST VOLUMIZER Hair Biology Thickening Treatment Specifically formulated to meet the needs of women 50 and older, this gives your hair an instant boost of volume. It also contains caffeine, which can help promote growth. ($10; target.com) 5. BEST CLARIFYING…

IMAGINE MEETING new friends inside a bar. Or sending your kid to school without worry. Going to a concert or a basketball game. Imagine flying without wondering whether a seatmate’s sneeze might send you to the hospital. A Covid-19 vaccine would help us live our lives again. “We would not have the craziness we have now if we could simply visit a pharmacy and get a vaccine, like we do for flu,” says Maria Elena Bottazzi, PhD, codirector of the Texas Children’s Hospital Center for Vaccine Development in Houston, who was involved with developing a vaccine for the SARS virus and is working on one for Covid-19. It will almost certainly happen: As of early July, there were already 21 vaccines for Covid-19 in clinical trials. “I’ve never seen an effort…

VACCINE CHEAT SHEET

Live-attenuated: Vaccines against measles and mumps contain a weakened (or “attenuated”) form of the germ, which cannot cause disease but will bring on an immune response. Inactivated: The virus in inactivated vaccines, such as those against hepatitis A and polio, has been killed by heat, radiation, or a chemical like formaldehyde. Subunit: The flu shot contains only the piece of the virus, usually a protein, that the body identifies as an intruder. Recombinant: In vaccines for hepatitis B and HPV, scientists genetically engineer a harmless “carrier” cell, such as a yeast cell, to take the antigen—the part of the pathogen that causes an immune response—inside the body. Newer viral vector vaccines use a harmless virus as the carrier. RNA/DNA: Instead of actual antigens, this experimental type of vaccine contains genetic instructions (DNA or RNA)…

LET THERE BE LIGHT

HERE’S A HANDS-OFF, truly noninvasive way to treat what ails you: Scientists are harnessing visible light from LEDs and other sources to treat a range of medical conditions. Phototherapy, as this increasingly popular treatment is called, is being used to help with seasonal affective disorder, acne, and more. Light’s wavelengths, which correspond to different colors, have various applications and uses. Read on to find the color that could help you. GREEN LIGHT FOR PAIN: After Mohab Ibrahim, MD, noticed that sitting in the park helped his headaches—and that spending time in the backyard likewise alleviated his brother’s migraines—he wondered whether the effect might be due to the color of the grass and trees. An anesthesiologist and director of the Chronic Pain Management Clinic at the University of Arizona, Ibrahim devised a study…

LET THERE BE LIGHT

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING?

COMMON DRUGSTORE REMEDIES can be surprisingly powerful—but not always in ways we want or expect. Not needing a prescription for a supplement doesn’t necessarily make it risk-free. Here are five to be careful with. LICORICE TEA This decaf tea is made from the root of the licorice plant, which contains glycyrrhizic acid, known to have antimicrobial, anti-inflammatory, antiviral, antioxidant, and analgesic effects. Often recommended for: Ulcers, heartburn. “Licorice tea may help speed the healing of ulcers,” says pharmacist April Segal, founder of Remedy Holistic Pharmacy in San Diego. She notes that it’s also an effective alternative to OTC heartburn meds, which may compromise your gut’s ability to absorb nutrients. What to know: Glycyrrhizic acid can cause you to retain water and reabsorb sodium, elevating blood pressure and lowering potassium. What to do: The European…

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING?

FOUR DAYS TO AN OCD CURE?

JERICA DAVILA, 32, had spent her whole life avoiding, to put it nicely, tossing her cookies. Her first memory, from when she was 3, is of her mom talking about her older sister throwing up. “I got such a terrified feeling,” Davila says. Around age 9, she made the connection between vomiting and germs, and started compulsively washing her hands and avoiding specific foods. Davila’s parents didn’t understand why she refused to eat food they prepared or go with them to certain places. They took her to a psychiatrist, who, believing her preoccupations were symptoms of distractedness, put her on Ritalin. But Ritalin only made her more laser focused on avoiding germs, to the point where she had trouble concentrating on schoolwork. Her parents then tried one counselor after another, each…

FOUR DAYS TO AN OCD CURE?

A Separate Peace

WHEN DEVRA McMILLEN consulted O life coach Martha Beck, the 63-year-old Nashvillian was feeling unmoored: Last year her mother passed away, leaving Devra, who had been her mom’s full-time caregiver for ten years, unsure of what her next chapter might hold. As she was still reeling from that loss, she learned her brother had died as well, just as she was getting to know him (Devra was adopted at birth, and they’d only recently met). Martha told her new client that the way to find purpose was to do things that brought her joy, so Devra committed to getting outside in nature and spending time with friends—but her momentum was disrupted when she was called back for a follow-up mammogram and began struggling with yet more anxiety about her future.…

A Separate Peace

How to Deal with Your White Friends

WHEN IT’S TIME TO TAKE CARE OF YOU Dear Dr. Joy, The sudden, intense interest of white people who want to discuss racism has left me exhausted. Many of my white friends are trying to have conversations about “unpacking their privilege” and addressing racist behaviors they may have committed toward me. While I hope this engagement and energy will lead to lasting change, I’m also overwhelmed. As a Black woman, I don’t think it’s my responsibility to help others on their antiracist journey. But what am I supposed to do instead? —Lauren Dear Lauren, The past few months have been a lot to endure. While sheltering in place and doing our best to stay healthy, we’ve also had to continue to fight against racism, police brutality, and many other systems of oppression. The toll…

How to Deal with Your White Friends

The Warmth of Other Suns, the first book by Pulitzer Prize–winning writer Isabel Wilkerson, offered an epic narrative portrait of the Great Migration. In her magnificent latest, Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents (Random House), Wilkerson deepens and extends her examination of the inception and consequences of American racism, finding direct connections to the outcastes of India and the horrors of the Third Reich. Her historical opus draws on years of research, stories, and previously published works to reveal, for example, that the Nazis used U.S. miscegenation laws as a blueprint for their own approach to genocide, and that Martin Luther King Jr., on a 1959 visit to India, observed, “Yes, I am an untouchable, and every Negro in the United States of America is an untouchable.” That realization informed…

THE FIRE THIS TIME

IN OCTOBER of 1963, just two days after participating in the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee’s Freedom Day demonstration in Selma, Alabama, James Baldwin described Sheriff Jim Clarke and his men as they terrorized the Black people who waited to register to vote. “The helmets were, you know, like a garden. So many colors, and with their guns and their cattle prodders,” Baldwin recalled of the police who bullied the Black men and women patiently standing in line. When asked if he was afraid when tensions with the police rose, he responded: “I was scared in the morning, but later on I wasn’t scared at all. Fear was swallowed up by fury.” Baldwin saw up close the brutality of Jim Crow and witnessed its effects on those who defended against it, as…

THE FIRE THIS TIME

THE BIBLIO FILES Just Us is the opposite of a lofty, theoretical book on racism. Its author, Claudia Rankine, is one of our leading intellectuals and teaches a course at Yale called Constructions of Whiteness, yet this essential, timely work of nonfiction is more playbook than scholarly tome. It features snippets of conversations she’s had with random white male strangers; deceptively easy-to-read factoids that remind us how little most of us know about how American racism has unfolded; transcripts of 911 calls and police interactions; and personal reflections on whether something a close white friend said reveals bias. The book urges us to step outside the safety zone of politeness to interrogate the uncomfortable and to listen, even (especially) when we don’t like what we’re hearing. O’s books editor, Leigh Haber, spoke…

STATE OF THE NATION

CAN’T EVEN BY ANNE HELEN PETERSEN Building on her viral BuzzFeed piece parsing millennial burnout, Petersen’s third book, a highlight-every-sentence-in-recognition survey of the anxiety and exhaustion baked into the lives of myriad young people, dispels many of the myths and misconceptions—the laziness! the entitlement!—surrounding the generation that came of age amid the internet and economic collapse. Yet rather than pit millennials against boomers, Petersen makes meaningful and constructive connections between the toils and troubles of the two groups. Drawing on hundreds of interviews and a meticulous culling of cultural history, this edifying work lays bare the often unfair forces—capitalism!—hampering personal and professional fulfillment. BREAK IT UP BY RICHARD KREITNER In this richly anecdotal, vital account, the Nation writer argues that disunion is as American as baseball: “The possibility that it all might go to pieces…is…

STATE OF THE NATION

AIMEE BENDER’S The Butterfly Lampshade (Doubleday) begins with a heartrending telephone exchange between two sisters, one of them in the midst of a psychotic break while caring for her small child. The opening is spare and ambiguous, quickly accelerating into fear for a girl who has to lock her bedroom door against her mother on the other side. The child is Francie, an 8-year-old possessed of extraordinary powers of perception and memory. She also has a knack for being on the spot when impossible things happen. Twenty years pass, and Francie grows into a young woman lightly tethered to this world, always looking for “small things to hold on to, handrails to find” that will help her distinguish between hallucination and the magic she’s certain she has witnessed. She starts a business…

EDIE, THE CAPRICIOUS millennial narrator of Raven Leilani’s strikingly observed debut novel, Luster (FSG), first encounters her lover—23 years her senior—in the flesh at Six Flags. They’d met online, connected on Instagram, but they start their affair for real at a theme park “surrounded by the most rococo trappings of childhood.” Eric’s life is established. “I have been married to the same woman for thirteen years,” he says, “and our graves are right next to each other.” Meanwhile, Edie is in flux: She’s dogged by Sallie Mae, tenuously employed at a children’s book publisher. He’s white, she’s Black, and he and his wife have adopted a Black daughter. What ensues over the next 200-plus pages is indeed a wild ride: an irreverent intergenerational tale of race and class that’s blisteringly…

10 TITLES TO PICK UP NOW

1 / Tomboyland BY MELISSA FALIVENO These transgressive essays inhabit the in-between—male and female, Wisconsin and New York, monogamy and kink—and probe the profound paradoxes of personhood, depicting “a place that transcends boundaries, that defies definition, a body that holds within it a multitude of identities.” 2 / Betty BY TIFFANY McDANIEL Based in part on the author’s own family history, this sumptuous and intimate fictional epic follows a girl born in a claw-foot bathtub in 1950s Arkansas to a white mother and a Cherokee father. The latter—a gregarious raconteur—becomes her lodestar over the next few years as she learns to tell her own story. 3 / If I Had Two Wings BY RANDALL KENAN Spiritual yearnings pulse through these dazzling stories, linked to Kenan’s own Yoknapatawpha County: Tims Creek, North Carolina. From a tourist who encounters a…

10 TITLES TO PICK UP NOW

IN HIS ASSURED debut novel, Winter Counts (Ecco), David Heska Wanbli Weiden melds the gritty realism of Dashiell Hammett with the lyricism of Tommy Orange. A fist for hire on a Lakota reservation in South Dakota, Virgil keeps microwaved pizza on the table by meting out payback on behalf of those denied justice. But when his nephew nearly dies of a heroin overdose, the revenge becomes personal. To carry it out, Virgil enlists an ex to smoke out a drug gang in Denver. Winter Counts is a portrait of a man who can’t quite reconcile his embattled culture with his desire to move forward. REDUCE your carbon footprint as much as possible; Black Americans are exposed to about 56 percent more POLLUTION than they cause.…

An Air Force Vet’s Hardest Fight Yet

Q: How has mBC changed your perspective on life? A: In December 2009, at age 43, I was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic breast cancer. I started treatment three weeks later, and since then have tried six different treatment plans and undergone seven surgeries. The life expectancy for someone diagnosed with mBC is three to five years, but here I am more than 10 years later. Since being diagnosed, I enjoy life more and appreciate the small miracles, such as watching my daughter graduate from college and finding love with my now-husband. MBC has pushed me into understanding my purpose, which is educating my community about my disease. African American women have a higher mortality rate from breast cancer than women of any other race. I want everyone to be aware of…

An Air Force Vet’s Hardest Fight Yet

Q + A with Meredith Vieira

Q: WHY IS THIS SERIES IMPORTANT TO YOU? A: My grandmother was diagnosed with mBC in the ’70s. I know she was scared and overwhelmed, but I don’t think she shared those concerns with her doctors. And that’s what Find Your MBC Voice aims to do—empower people living with mBC to speak up so they can identify their best treatment plan. If my grandmother were diagnosed today, she would have the tools needed to have an active role in her care like treatment discussion guides, access to condition information, and more. I am proud to host the series in her honor and give those with mBC a platform to get educated and help find their voice. Q: WHAT DID YOU LEARN ABOUT THE PATIENT/DOCTOR RELATIONSHIP? A: After diagnosis, fear can quickly take over. Instead…

Q + A with Meredith Vieira

NOT LONG AGO in the Bahamas, I climbed into a submersible that was about to dive 3,300 feet to the seafloor of the Atlantic Ocean. The passenger compartment was tight, barely big enough for three. “You’re not claustrophobic, are you?” the pilot asked, almost as an afterthought, as a crane hoisted the sub from the ship and swung it over the water. I knew that descending so deep came with risks: entanglement, leaks, equipment malfunction, crushing pressures. In a worst-case scenario, we wouldn’t return in solid form. None of this was on my mind as we dropped into the water. On the bottom, the scenery was lunar. We flew along the tops of white sand dunes tinted an eerie blue in the sub’s spotlights. We saw eels zipping by, viperfish…

THE SKIN ALONG MY RIGHT upper bicep is mottled. A scatter pattern, like berries of darker flesh, lands there. My grandmother had something similar. I remember it from when her skin grew slack. My mother has the same—the spots run over her muscles, still taut in her seventh decade. My elder son has it, too. His arm is beautiful, strong, young. My other son does not have the berry pattern but instead the round, protruding forehead of face after face in the family tree. “Twins,” people say when they see photographs of us side by side. These are inheritances. Other things handed down are not biological. For instance, anyone who stays around Perrys too long tends to become a know-it-all: bookish with a purpose to opine, preach, and prescribe. Family is…

HARD WHITE TRUTHS

My father was extremely racist and forbade us to watch shows like Julia, starring Diahann Carroll. He’d come into the room where I would be watching, scream profanities, and violently unplug the TV. Today I’m what’s called a Foley artist; I use props to create sound effects for a movie after the scenes are filmed. If someone gets stabbed, I take some celery and break it for bones crunching and maybe squish a grapefruit for the added effect of gore and blood dripping. I rarely get to view the performance ahead of time and have to make a very quick assessment of emotional content without knowing the story line. When I worked on Twelve Years a Slave, I already had a deep awareness of racism and violence imprinted in my body due…

HARD WHITE TRUTHS

where are you going?

Vanessa Charlot PHOTOGRAPHER ST. LOUIS BLACK LIVES MATTER PROTEST, JUNE 2020 I LIVE IN downtown St. Louis, where countless protests have happened this summer; I’ve photographed nearly every one of them. Demonstrators have tended to be more receptive to me as a Black woman: Men let me get close enough to shoot their tattoos. At times, white male photographers have asked me to move out of the way so they can get a certain angle. And I’ve been taken aback by that because, not to sound difficult, but this is my community, and right now we’re going through something. Your perspective is already in the history books. The day I took this photo, my son, Jacob, saw me gathering my camera equipment and immediately asked to come along. I was really hesitant—he’s only…

where are you going?

Soon after starting his practice in 2010, Mastin Kipp, creator of Functional Life Coaching, noticed a pattern of behavior in his clients. “They would set goals—try a meal plan, quit their job—but not follow through,” he says. “After years of asking why, I realized that everyone’s been through something that gave them ‘proof’ that they shouldn’t or couldn’t move forward.” Turning to neuroscience, Kipp came up with a clearer answer: “Not achieving goals wasn’t just due to a self-limiting belief—it was due to trauma.” Kipp’s research pointed to the fact that trauma embeds itself in the body, affecting not only our emotions but also our brain’s ability to function. “Heightened stress can cause the nervous system to go into fight-or-flight response,” he says, “which hijacks resources from the neural frontal lobe,…

THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH

My husband and I were vacationing on an Arkansas lake in August 2013; we’d spent most of one Saturday just hanging out. Around 5 p.m., my friends boated over to say hello. Everything that came next I’ve taped together from other people’s vantage points. Because in my memory I’m in the water chatting, and then all of a sudden I’m under the boat staring up at the glossy white bottom, my legs being ravaged by the propeller. Multiple moments happened in concert—the surge of the engine, the boat bouncing off the dock, the wake from another craft. What had been several feet away was, in milliseconds, suddenly not. I came up for air with blood billowing around my legs—the water had been so beautifully clear that you could see the rocks…

THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH

THE FOSSIL ON THE SIDE WALK

“After trauma, most people go on with their lives, minimizing the devastating impact of having been hit, molested, or bullied. But while the mind tries to forget, the survival part of the brain continues to send signals to the body that it’s under threat. When survivors blow up at a boyfriend or freeze in fear when somebody disagrees with them, they rarely realize that these ‘irrational’ reactions are triggered by imprints of horrifying events from the past. And it’s virtually impossible to revisit those experiences without also reliving the terror and helplessness that accompanied them. Most people require assistance to feel safe enough to explore those events and put them into proper perspective: as horrendous ordeals belonging to the past. But if you can safely revisit them, you can recognize…

THE FOSSIL ON THE SIDE WALK

When Luise Reddemann began her career as a psychiatrist in Germany in the 1970s, little was known about how to treat victims of childhood sexual abuse and other lifechanging traumas. So Reddemann listened to the real experts—her patients. She asked what had helped them endure. “Out poured all these similar accounts,” she says. “‘I would envision a cave where I could hide,’ or ‘I was surrounded by friendly beings.’” Often, patients reported conjuring safe havens and imaginary guides: angels, fairies, animals (“There were lots of bears,” she says). “These daydreams let them feel free, if only for a few minutes,” says Reddemann. “They helped patients survive.” Reddemann went on to develop a modality called psychodynamic imaginative trauma therapy. (The first English translation of her 2001 book, Who You Were Before Trauma,…

My first real job out of college was working on missing-kid cases at America’s Most Wanted. Whenever a child was presumed abducted, my pager would go off, and I’d run into the office to tape a public service announcement the affiliate stations could air. Then I’d fly to the scene to cover the story. I witnessed every mother’s worst nightmare; the empty, lost look in those women’s eyes is still with me decades later. My husband and I married when I was 37. Though I wanted so badly to be a mom, I’d always been told I’d have a hard time getting pregnant—endometriosis, ovarian cysts. As it turned out, I had a flawless pregnancy at 39. Being a mother to Gabrielle was as miraculous and precious as I thought it would…

SAFETY IN NUMBERS

Every childhood involves pain, but certain types of suffering are more hazardous than others. Pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris, MD, saw evidence of that at her Center for Youth Wellness clinic in San Francisco, which she opened in 2007. She was caring for a child not yet 3 years old who’d previously been diagnosed with failure to thrive and prescribed nutritional supplements. “Her growth rate was just over two centimeters a year, way below normal,” says Burke Harris. She didn’t have to guess why: The girl’s Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) score filled in the blanks. The revolutionary ACE study, released in 1998, introduced a test (right) that tallies up ten types of traumatic experiences an individual may have endured during childhood. It turned out that the higher the score, the higher the…

SAFETY IN NUMBERS

THE ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES TEST

1. Did you feel that you didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, or had no one to protect or take care of you? 2. Did you lose a parent through abandonment, divorce, death, or another reason? 3. Did you live with anyone who was depressed, mentally ill, or had attempted suicide? 4. Did you live with anyone who had a problem with drinking or using drugs, including prescription drugs? 5. Did your parents or adults in your home ever hit, punch, beat, or threaten to harm each other? 6. Did you live with anyone who went to jail or prison? 7. Did a parent or an adult in your home ever swear at you, insult you, or put you down? 8. Did a parent or an adult in your home ever hit, beat,…

Green, yellow, red—stoplight colors, but also a metaphor for how our nervous system responds to trauma. That concept is tied to the polyvagal theory, introduced by neuroscientist Stephen Porges, PhD, in 1994 as a way to explain our biology. Yes, our body enters fight-or-flight mode when danger appears, but Porges posits that the autonomic (unconscious) nervous system actually rotates among three modes: ventral (think of it as green), a harmonious place of connection; sympathetic (yellow), that fight-or-flight response; and dorsal (red), when we disconnect and emotionally shut down, a common trauma response. Clinical social worker Deb Dana, who coauthored a book on polyvagal theory with Porges, focuses clients on awareness of that idea—not the particulars of their painful past. “I tell them that my knowing every detail isn’t necessary for…

THE INTERNET NEVER FORGETS

I try not to Google my name these days. Unfortunately, I occasionally lose my resolve, because my ego is wounded, but it’s also still huge. Before writing this, I punched my name into Twitter, where an anonymous stranger had posted, “A.J. Daulerio is a drug-addled buffoon with no discernible talent.” I’m actually a little over four years sober at this point, which has provided some much-needed clarity and a longer memory, but the downside is that many of those memories aren’t great. As a full-time blogger for various websites, I wrote vituperative takedowns of celebrities and media personalities. I was doing it for the sake of creating a spectacle, inoculated by the belief that I was part of a brave and necessary derailment of traditional journalism. Yes, sometimes I had to…

THE INTERNET NEVER FORGETS

the TIPPLING POINT

I LOVE A White Russian in a hot tub under the stars. An old-fashioned in a retro bar. A margarita sipped to a mariachi tune. A sparkling wine when there’s something worth celebrating, like a day ending in y. But as the poet William Blake reminds us, “joy and woe are woven fine.” As I headed into my mid-40s, I began to realize that the delight of the jaunty rhythm of a cocktail shaker, the icy liquid magic-carpet ride of that first sip, would soon be offset by distress: bleary mornings, straining jeans zippers, a brain that felt like a fuzzy barnacle. So a few years ago, when I heard about the “sober curiosity” movement—a mindful reexamination of one’s relationship with alcohol, a world of craft mocktails, boozefree bars, sober dance parties—I…

the TIPPLING POINT

“I love the combination of hot blackened shrimp and cool gazpacho. This is the perfect end-of-summer soup.”—OPRAH Tomatillo-Cucumber Gazpacho with Grilled Shrimp Makes 2 servings Total time: 45 minutes, plus 1 day for chilling 1 poblano, skin and seeds removed1 small sweet onion, quartered½ pound tomatillos, husks removed, rinsed under cold water½ pound Persian or Japanese cucumber, seeds removed and quartered1 Tbsp. cilantro leaves, plus more for garnish1 Tbsp. parsley leaves, plus more for garnish, plus ¼ tsp. chopped2 garlic cloves¼ tsp. ground cumin¼ tsp. cayenne pepper, plus more for garnish¼ cup avocado oil2 Tbsp. rice vinegar, plus more for garnishSea salt and ground black pepper4 jumbo shrimp, peeled and deveined1 tsp. extra-virgin olive oil¼ tsp. crushed red pepper½ tsp. lemon juice 1. To make gazpacho: Preheat oven to 450°. On a baking sheet lined…

Panzanella Salad

THE FANCY The traditional tomato-based salad gets a welcome flavor boost from another Italian favorite: piles of crunchy baked cheese known as frico. Homemade golden croutons bring even more texture to the table. Panzanella Salad with Arugula and Crispy Parmesan Makes 2 to 4 servings Total time: 25 minutes Preheat oven to 200°. Coat 3 cups crusty bread cubes (preferably 1 to 2 days old) with extra-virgin olive oil and bake on a baking sheet until lightly browned, about 8 minutes; let cool. Raise heat to 375°. In a large serving bowl, combine 3 Tbsp. olive oil; 1 garlic clove, minced; 1 Tbsp. red wine vinegar; 1 tsp. Dijon mustard; and salt and ground black pepper to taste. Mix in cooled bread cubes; 4 cups (2 pounds) cherry or grape tomatoes, halved; 1 small red…

Panzanella Salad

Someone’s in the Kitchen

THE PAN SHE’D CHOOSE ABOVE ALL OTHERS. My cast-iron skillet. It’s so versatile—you can use it for baking treats like skillet cookies or fruit crisps, and cooking everything from roast chicken to meatballs. HER FAVORITE FOOD MEMORIES. After-school snacks with my mom. She and I would sit at our kitchen island munching on peanut butter crackers or dipping pretzels and potato chips in mustard—which I highly recommend. HER BIGGEST RECIPE FAIL. The fluffy six-ingredient paleo pancakes on my blog (rachlmansfield.com) fell apart many, many times before they came together. Coconut flour is a beast of an ingredient! HER COOKING MENTORS. My mother-in-law taught me the basics, like how to cut an onion. My love of oatmeal comes from my dad—who makes the creamiest, chewiest, best bowl out there—and inspired the hearty crust for the breakfast pizza in…

Someone’s in the Kitchen

BREONNA TAYLOR.

Not long ago, I spoke with Breonna’s mother, Tamika Palmer. She was having a particularly bad day dealing with the loss and the grief of knowing that her daughter is gone forever. Those of you who’ve lost loved ones know that the pain comes in waves and that any little thing can trigger it. A song. A scent. A word. A thought. The day I called, Ms. Palmer was dealing with the emotion of it all. She told me, “I can’t stop seeing her face. Her smile. It’s what I miss most about her. I still can’t grasp the concept of her being gone. It feels so surreal. I’m still waiting for her to come through the door. We know how Breonna died. March 13. Louisville police storming into her apartment…

BREONNA TAYLOR.

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