I lost my secret partner – and I can’t talk to anyone about it

Six months ago I lost my partner. We were lovers for 22 years. Our relationship was secret, because of his complex family situation. I loved everything about him, and I dreamed of a time when we could be openly together. I’m absolutely lost now. I don’t think that I’m suicidal, but I feel that nothing matters any more. I’ve tried to help at a charity connected to his work, but I feel worthless. Most days I stay in my flat avoiding people. We had several mutual friends and colleagues, but I can’t talk to any of them. It’s painful to see photos of him in my phone and to see the presents he gave me. I had counselling in the past after my young son’s death, but this feels more…

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Guardian Weekly (Digital) - 1 Issue, 21 February 2025

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