Confessions

Because sometimes life is stranger than fiction

HOLY MACKEREL When I was 18 I went on a first date and, super-excited to see mackerel pâté on the menu, ordered a portion and got stuck in with some bread. My double-dipping must have been out of control because, halfway through, my date leaned over and quietly enquired,“Aren’t you going to use your knife and fork?” ALICE, 24, ACCOUNT MANAGER, LONDON SOB STORY Sometimes I practise crying on demand in the mirror, and once my new boyfriend caught me doing it. I was mortified, so I said my dog had died (I’ve never had one). We’re now engaged, and my parents are always baffled at the mention of our late puppy. TONI, 26, CREATIVE RECRUITMENT CONSULTANT, LONDON TAKE A SEAT I once got drunk before a date and, midway through, started claiming to be a big…

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Cosmopolitan UK (Digital) - 1 Issue, December 2018

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